My Mother - Chapelle Gray
My mother passed away on September 8, 2009 and at times I feel as though my life ended as well. She was 61. I miss her so much at times that my heart feels as though it will break forever.
My mother suffered from lung damage and a cigarette habit that she couldn't break. My sister and I tried every way we could to help her defeat the demon and yet we were unsuccessful.
She came home from yet another hospital admission and 2 hours later her heart had stopped. They revived her only to tell us that she was brain dead and could not be saved. We had to make the difficullt choice to remove her from life support.
While my father is still alive and very much active in our lives, he was not a parent to either of us and my mom was all we had. I feel guilty for distancing myself from him but I just can't see him and not miss her even more.
I think of the times we shared and as the holidays roll around I find myself really suffering to cope. Why do I feel like that little girl lost in the mall searching for her mom or an orphan? I am 38 years old, should I be feeling this way?
I find myself becoming jealous when my friends share stories about their mothers. Am I sick? I don't wish them to not have theirs, I just want mine.
This is a pain unlike anything that I have ever known and pray to feel only once in this lifetime.
Posted by Deedy November 28, 2009 @ 9:41 PM.