My Mother - Patricia Gail Lewellen
For My Beautiful Mom....
Patricia Gail Born April 7th 1951- Passed Away Dec 11th 2011
I awoke this morning at 4am the same time you left, how coincidental..I said to myself,.. This time will never be the same for me again..4am and the 11th day of every month.
I recall what you said to the Doctor just tell me how long I have I just want to know the real deal you don?t have to hide anything from me ?I?m a big girl? I can handle it! When the final words were spoke weeks to months..the tears were so uncontrollable I felt like a piece of china falling on cement. As I looked at you to see your response you held your head high and said at least I now know what I have been asking the whole time. You were such a Champion I couldn?t believe my eyes. As we left I noticed you trying to hold yourself together..you were struck with many fears and all the ifs and why?s . I held your hand so tight as if apart of you had already began to leave me.. I was so afraid. The whole ride home we held each other?s hand and I said we can beat this Mom.. I know we can don?t worry I?m here, I will take care of you I can still remember that day as if it were yesterday. It began to rain and the weather felt exactly as we did.
Memories of the past play over in my mind of your smile and parts of you that stay with me throughout the day. I find myself going to the closet where I have the shirt you wore the night you left me clinging on to it to find comfort. I wear your Coach Boots to take you everywhere I go. When I miss you I go back and read the last text messages you sent me, as I read them I still hear your voice.
I Miss you Mom you were Loved by me!
Posted by Shelley Brown Fulton January 14, 2012 @ 11:35 AM.