Posted by Corrie, October 04, 2012
Thank you for this article Rona. I too, in desperation googled about a best friend dying and your page came up. Now I don't feel so weird. I've had grandparents die and some older family die but this time it really hit me hard. Naoko was my treasured friend. The funny thing is we only knew each other almost 5 years. She and I met at our son's kindergarten school orientation and I just knew we were going to be friends. She had liver problems and I never knew her to be completely healthy. Maybe that's why our friendship was so intense. We kind of knew time was short. She died 10 days ago and it feels like a life time already. I feel fine one moment and the next I feel like someone stabbed me in the heart. Then I will dream about her and it'll be nice for a moment and torture the next. I wake up sad and I go to bed sad. During the day I put on my brave face and do what is expected of me. I've started to think I'm not normal because the reaction from others are "oh she was just a friend, then?" Like I'm not supposed to be grieving. My husband keeps asking what's wrong like he doesn't know. Like I didn't already tell him the day before or the day before that- what's wrong with me. I also feel like all those sorries or sympathies I told everyone is worthless. I don't think I'll ever say that to anyone again unless my children get hurt. I have faith and know where she is and that is comforting that I will see her one day. In the meantime, she left a big void in my life. I will miss her more than words can say! Thanks again. In some strange way this helps to know that I'm not the only one with a knife in the heart.
Rona Maynard replied on October 08, 2012